Friday, September 6, 2019

Writing01: What is your identity?


In terms of Computer Science and my hobbies, I feel like I have a hacker/maker identity. I enjoy making things in my free time, whether that be small programming side projects or pencil sketches. I always like the feeling of knowing that I made something cool or interesting. Consequently, I get frustrated if I don't see immediate value from side projects that I'm doing. I think that's why I struggle with art and music since those skills require lots of time and dedication before you can achieve meaningful results. With programming, on the other hand, you can do amazing things with just a few lines of code copied from Stack Overflow.

I don't like playing video games or watching Netflix if I'm by myself since I feel that it's a waste of time. I do think that these events are good if they are done with friends or in a social environment since they help build relationships, but I feel so lazy if I do them alone. I used to do these activities much more as a child, and I feel like it had a negative impact on me going forward since I would skip social and educational opportunities to play video games or watch TV.

I'm pretty much the opposite of most Notre Dame students. I'm non-religious, I don't care about watching football, and I don't really have any school spirit or pride. Notre Dame wasn't my ideal school, and I see it more of a means to an end. While I think the majority of the CS professors I've had so far have been exceptional, I have many problems with the way that the school is run and question my choice of attending ND.

As for my privileges, I've grown up with a supportive immediate and extended family. While my family is not wealthy, my parents have worked hard to make me not worry about tuition and living expenses. I have also had opportunities to attend schools with good academic records and to study abroad in Japan. Also, thanks to access to computers in high school, I was able to start learning about Computer Science before college.

However, I also have some disadvantages. Since I'm rather short and thin, people assumed that I can't play sports and just spent all day doing academic activities. This stereotype has come up time and time again throughout my life, despite the fact that I would throw the football with my brother each week and would climb the giant magnolia tree in front of my house for fun everyday. In fact, due to my excessive tree climbing, I would always win the rock climbing competitions at my middle school's relay races. Despite all this, I would always be picked last in PE and would never get the football passed to me during games.

I also feel like I've been stereotyped as "that smart kid." Even though I would always work hard and stay up late every night to maintain my grades, people would always assume that I got good grades because I was just innately smart. Even at Notre Dame, people will say that the only reason why I could code a certain thing or pass a certain interview was because I was just naturally smart. Very rarely would people acknowledge the hard work that I've put in over the years. Additionally, people would assume that I had everything "under control" and never had to worry about anything. Thus, when I actually did struggle, I had no one to turn to for help and just had to act like everything was okay.

I have a pretty cynical view of the world. I think most success and failure can be attributed to your appearance, rather than the hard work you put in. Of course, if you have good grades and skills, you might be able to find a good job and make a lot of money. However, I don't consider that by itself successful. For me, your friendships and relationships are the most important elements of a well-lived life. For this reason, I don't really care whether I become a millionaire or change the world.

Request: @pbui - please don't bring this up in class as I feel like some parts are a bit too personal

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